23 Days Old: Daily Update

23daysold-headband

Today’s activity focused on three areas: (1) newborn fashion, (2) GI/feeds, and (3) cardiology.

(1) Mom doesn’t like headbands, but our nurse found this handmade piece (courtesy of the volunteer “Cuddlers”) in Olivia’s drawer and thought it matched her blanket so nicely that she’d give it a go. Mom still doesn’t like headbands, but thinks Olivia looks too cute to take it off. For now at least.

(2) The team removed Olivia’s NG tube today, as she hasn’t been tolerating feeds very well. It was replaced with an ND tube, which bypasses her stomach and delivers the feeds directly to the first part of the small intestine. She’ll continue receiving the drip of breastmilk through this tube, and we’ll see if it helps get her gut moving. The indicators as to whether or not this method is “working” better than the NG tube include: seeing more regular (and unassisted) stools, and avoiding both distention and spit up.

If the ND tube does work, the team would look to slowly increase feeds via this method, and begin to decrease her TPN. Eventually they would then try to transition more feeds through an NG tube (to reengage her stomach) and ween down the ND tube.

If the ND tube does not work (as indicated by distention, or spit up), the GI team has a number of subsequent tests to introduce that could better help us better understand if her GI track is built as expected, and where any malfunction may be occurring.

(3) We learned during this morning’s rounds that the nurses and doctors recently discovered a heart murmur. The murmur is inconsistent, but has been noticed on multiple occasions by different providers. An echocardiograph was ordered and performed this afternoon. We did have a fetal echo done around 22 weeks during pregnancy, and it looked normal, but we were reminded that it’s not always easy to see everything during fetal exams.

Other medical details (for those of you taking notes): daily Dornase has been discontinued, ventilator remains at  a rate of 35, 19 over 6 ,with a pressure support of 10, and labs will be drawn tomorrow as part of her new Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday schedule, at which point we’ll get an updated blood gas, Phenobarbitol level, and bilirubin level.

Continue Reading

Rock-a-Bye Baby

rockabyebaby02

Having a child in the NICU is strange. I’ll just say that. In terms of one’s journey into parenthood, it really throws you for a loop. Everything you imagined doing with your child happens differently, if it all. You don’t feed your fussy baby every couple of hours (at least we don’t yet). You don’t go through a bajillion diapers a day. You can’t just pick up and cuddle your baby whenever you’d like. And you aren’t the one at your baby’s side every time she falls asleep and wakes up.

This last one hurts the most.

It breaks our hearts to think about Olivia waking up when we aren’t there. Waking up at a time when the nurse isn’t in her room. Waking up and being unable to cry to let someone, anyone know she’s ready to have some love and attention. Waking up and being alone… The thought of her falling asleep alone is no different.

She doesn’t fall asleep in our arms. We don’t get to rock her slowly, or walk the house in circles until she dozes off. She falls asleep in her giraffe. Usually to the sound of a heart beat (noise machine), with a hand hug from mom or dad. What’s also different is that she falls asleep when she wants to, always. There is absolutely zero concept here of “putting her down” or “trying to get her down for a nap” or “getting her to fall asleep” to align with someone else’s notion of a schedule.

She’s here, in her giraffe, all day and all night. Awake and asleep when her body decides.

Fortunately, Luke and I have been able to spend every day with Olivia. So we’ve watched her fall asleep countless times. Similarly, we witness those little eyes ever so slowly wake up, multiple times a day. We don’t always know she is immediately awake (because of her lack of cry), but we see her cycle through awake and asleep times all day long.

Out of all the hundreds of times Olivia has likely fallen asleep in the past three weeks, there are three specific moments that I hope I never forget. These are the times I felt most like a normal parent, rocking my baby to sleep.

Three times so far I’ve sat next to Olivia’s bed and felt like it was me – her mom – who put her to sleep. Olivia was already tired, but she needed the love of her momma to help her get to bed. Each time started just the two of us. Olivia and mom, hanging out, starring into each other’s eyes.

One time I slowly rubbed her forehead. Over, and over, and over. Until each blink became a bit longer, and finally her eyelids remained closed.

One time I could tell she was snoozy, and I spoke softly to her. Told her stories and held her little hand until off she went.

And one time, she was fussing and crying, fussing and crying. With one hand on the side of her face, I placed a finger on her lip. She started sucking slowly. A comforting reflex. She immediately stopped fussing and seconds later her face calmed completely. The beads of sweat on her forehead dried up, and her eyes began blinking, slower and slower each blink.

It’s little moments, I’m learning, that make you feel like a normal parent in the NICU. Three sleeps, out of hundreds, reminding me that no matter what our circumstances are, I’m a momma now. And our little girl needs me.

 

(Photo)

Continue Reading

22 Days Old: Morning Update

Good morning and happy three weeks, Olivia!

22daysold-morning02

She had a quiet night in the care of one her loving night nurses. No major updates to her plan today.

Ms. Olivia remains on her 2 ML/hr regiment for feeds. She had ongoing and variable sized residuals last night. The core team is sticking to yesterday‘s recommendation: observe any effects of Reglan until Tuesday and then consider alternatives.  She did stool on her own (sort of) last night, something Mom is excited about.

No changes to respiratory and other systems today.

Mom and Dad plan to hold this afternoon. Aunt Lauren and Uncle Chris will stop by today before heading back home.

 

Continue Reading

21 Days Old: Evening Update

Olivia had a great Saturday.

She had visits from her Guerrero grandparents, Aunt Lauren and Uncle Chris. She did wonderfully after adjusting to her lower ventilator settings. And the highlight of the day came in the afternoon when she spent a couple of hours in the arms of mom and dad. Today we held her bundled up instead of skin to skin, which let us get much more face time!

21daysold-hangingwithdad

21daysold-hangingwithdad3

21daysold-hangingwithdad2

Feeds continued at 2MLs an hour (despite ongoing residuals), we had one stool (with the help of a suppository), and today was the first day of receiving only one dose of Dornase.

Continue Reading

21 Days Old: Morning Update

Good morning and happy Saturday!

21daysold-morning

Olivia had a comfortable, if not blithe, Friday night. The Guerrero grandparents arrived from Hopewell to find her awake. They entertained her restlessness with stories and toys before she finally fell asleep. We’ve found Olivia progressively more alert and awake since the decision to cut her Phenobarbital level.

Speaking of Phenobarbital, her morning labs indicated a drop in direct bilirubin to 11.5. Her last reading of 12.0 was on Thursday. The decrease is considered progress. They measure her direct bilirubin levels every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday; so hang tight for the next update. Today they will stop Phenobarbital. The drug has a long half-life – 53 to 118 hours (mean: 79 hours) – so it will take a few days to come out of her system. On Tuesday, they will check her levels and compare it with direct bilirubin rates. In addition to determining the impact of Phenobarbital on her direct bilirubin, this stoppage should help any neuromuscular assessments from Dr. C & team next week (by reducing sedation).

Ms. Olivia gave back 10 MLs of feeds this morning. Our nurse relayed similar feeding patterns from the overnight team. We have yet to see the effect of Reglan on her motility. They will continue to administer the drug and reassess Tuesday if no is progress made.

Yesterday evening the pulmonary team stopped by and recommended a goal of ultimately stopping Dornase (started day-8). Overnight, they reduced her rate to once a day. No changes to Albuterol and her saline nebulizer. They are dropping her respiratory rate to 35 today, as they continue to wean vent settings.

Today, Mom and Dad are hoping to hold Olivia, swaddle-style. Her respiratory conditions have been improving and moving her isn’t causing the desat events we saw on days 14, 16, & 17. Aunt Lauren and Uncle Chis are here to see her today. They will stay for the evening while her Grandparents head back home.

Continue Reading

20 Days Old: Field Trip Time

20daysold-hidascan

This morning I was able to tag along when Olivia went on a little field trip to the ground floor. My first chaperone experience! This was for the 2nd part of her HIDA scan. The transport required 4 staff, new pieces of mobile equipment, and a whole lot of preparation and caution. I now understand why they prefer to hold off on any tests requiring transport until babies are relatively stable.

Olivia spent about 20 minutes total under the camera. She was swaddled in blankets to keep her warm, and wore a hat for the first time. We now await results.

Continue Reading

20 Days Old: Morning Rounds

20daysold-morning

Rise and shine, from wide eyed Olivia.

This morning Luke arrived early at the hospital, to find a wide awake little girl. Mary Ellen (our nurse) had just given Olivia her first bed bath! The little one was pretty sweaty and stinky from 3 weeks of life, and her hair was greasier than grease due to all the baby oil we’ve slathered over her in attempts to get rid of glue and residue from equipment. Following the bed bath, Luke was able to hold her briefly while Mary Ellen changed her sheets: check out the gray elephants!

From rounds:

  • She continued to have residuals (5MLs, 8MLs, 2MLs, 5MLs) overnight and this morning, but feeding will continue. Today we’ll increase to 2MLs an hour today.
  • She’ll travel downstairs for part 2 of the HIDA this morning, and we hope to get initial results today. We’ll likely discontinue Phenobarbitol after the scan is complete.
  • Her respiratory rate is staying at 40, but we dropped her volume to 19. So she is now 19 over 6 with pressure support of 10.
Continue Reading

19 Days Old: Evening Update

Busy day in room 15.

After morning rounds, Olivia had a visit from mom’s girlfriend Heather. She brought along some special treats, include a snazzy pair of sandals for Olivia to wear one day. Heather helped Olivia gaze at a new book, and kept her engaged in some overdue girl talk.

19daysold-momshand

19daysold-readingabook

Around 1:30PM our nurse packed up Olivia’s things and took her downstairs for the HIDA scan. She did great during transport, had no respiratory issues, and came back to her room a couple of hours later. She’ll need to go back downstairs for part 2 of this test tomorrow, and then results will be at least a few days out.

While Olivia was downstairs, the palliative care team stopped by to talk to mom. This team (consisting of an MD and NP) will be a part of Olivia’s primary team moving forward, and this was just an introductory talk.

After the HIDA scan, we had the long awaited visit from Dr. C who recently returned from a trip to China. The assessment was thorough. Olivia cooperated and woke up for the latter part of the assessment, so Dr. C and her team were able to see Olivia awake and alert. Dr. C recommended a genetics test as the next step, which we think may be ordered fairly quickly (in the next day or two). Unfortunately, this is another test that takes a few weeks to run and analyze, so we are not expecting quick results.

19daysold-awake

Respiratory wise Olivia did great all day on the same settings described this morning. Her feeds continued after the HIDA scan at 1 ML per hour. And we had a poop at noon (with a little help from a suppository).

Continue Reading

19 Days Old: Morning Rounds

19daysold-morning

Updates from overnight and this morning’s rounds:

  • A good chest x-ray resulted in decreasing her respiratory rate to 40 (from 45), and since she’s had a couple of good days in a row they decreased one of her pressures 1. She is now at 20 over 6.
  • She continued to give back mixed residuals of some milk and some mucus. If the residuals are mostly mucus the team discards them, if its mostly milk, they’ll re-feed it to her. They are keeping total volume to 1ML per hour for now, but we will start Reglan today (a medicine to help increase motility).
  • Direct bilirubin came down just a tad overnight. It’s now at 12.2 from 12.8 yesterday. The team has recommended that we consider stopping Phenobarbitol completely. This is a decision they are currently leaving up to Luke and me as parents. The reason we would stop the medicine entirely is twofold:
    • (1) It would allow us to see if her direct bilirubin continues to decrease over time, even without the medicine. If this were the case, it would point more towards Olivia’s liver suffering from the initial insult at birth, rather than an inherent inability to function as desired.
    • (2) It may help us better understand Olivia’s “baseline” for alertness and activity. This is working under the assumption that the Phenobarbitol has had a sedative affect on her over the past week or so. The doctors are convinced this is the case given her low dosage, but it’s certainly a possibility and has been the observation of a number of nurses, OT, and us as parents.
Continue Reading